Truths from the world of online dating

1. Reading Harry Potter or playing Wii Sports doesn't make you a nerd.
2. Everybody "loves to laugh".
3. Reading Hunger Games and 50 Shades of Gray in a single year doesn't make you a "book nerd".
4. No, not everybody will read your profile.  That doesn't give you an excuse not to write something because the people who count, do read them."
5. A thoughtfully written "no thank you" email can actually make someone's day.
6. You are not too cool, interesting, avant garde, different, dynamic, etc. to write a personal summary.  However, you can be too lazy to do so.
7. You are interesting, tell me how.
8. I don't care what you like to do on vacation, "for fun".  Tell me about what you like to do for fun on a normal workday or weekend.  If your life is kinda boring and sad and you don't want to admit it to the dating world, then say that you are looking for a new hobbies and would like someone to experience them with.
9. I want to know who you are, not who you want people to think you are.
10. Conversation is a two-way street and it's kinda like volleyball.  You exchange thoughts, ideas, and questions.  If it's not , then two-ways then it's an interview or worse yet, a lecture.
11. Don't talk to more that 2 or 3 people at a time and don't date more than one person at a time. If you have a date, on Friday, don't make a date with someone else on Saturday. That's the kind of crap that they pull on TV sitcoms, but is usually very messy and painful in the real world. That doesn't mean that you're in a relationship with them, it just means that you are giving yourself the time to get to know one person well before deciding.  People are more than items on a buffet line.
12. Most of us understand that your kids come first.  Having pictures of them on your dating profile is creepy.  I don't want to date them.  I want to date you and then meet them when the relationship has matured to that point.  And having pictures of them and NO pictures of you is extremely creepy.
13. Do you really know who you are and what you want out of a relationship?  If so, tell me.  If not, delete your profile, do some real soul searching and come back when you are able to answer that question.
14. Think of men as a spectrum.  On one side is the douchebag/playa who is looking for sex and/or control on the other extreme is the "nice guy" who lives in his parent's basement, never been in a relationship, etc.  Somewhere in the middle is the "good guy" who actually wants a long term relationship.  We do in fact exist.
15. Men are shallow.
16. Women are shallow.
17. Some men are complete b-stards
18. Some women are complete b-tches.
19. Don't complain about ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands on your dating profile.
20. If you are completely open and honest, then you will get hate mail about something you wrote.  See #17.
21. Do you think that unrequited love is creepy?  Don't try to befriend an ex or someone that you turned down for a date. In other words, know what the "friendzone" is and how to keep guys out of it.
22. "Bad boys" make for bad men, bad husbands, and bad fathers.
23. If he has a loose sense for morality, then eventually it will come back to bite him.
24. Grammar and spelling are like an immediate IQ test.  Typos are forgivable, tlkng lik dis iz nt.
25. The amount of skin shown in your pics is directly proportional to the kind of guy who writes to you.  More cleavage = more jerk.
26. There is more to you than the size of your boobs.  See #7
27. Know your audience.  If you are looking for a specific type of man, write your profile geared towards that type of man.  If you're looking for a long distance marathon runner, talk about you love for the sport and why.
28. Don't be lazy when writing your profile.  You're looking for a relationship, not a new blender.
29. Men are like ogres and onions.  Some are ugly with a heart of gold and they will make you cry; but the best ones will make it worth it.
30. Never judge a book by it's cover unless it's a picture of some guy's junk and you can just throw that sh-t away.

I feel like a curmudgeon

Someone wrote on Facebook:

"I just got a call and I have a job interview [omitted] on tuesday at 9! Start Praying if this is meant to be it will happen!!!!"

So, you're saying that if you don't get the job, it's God's fault because he didn't want you to have it. Is that your way of absolving yourself from sucking? That's mean. I know this person. She's pretty much a straight shooter and a hard worker, and I really do want her to get this job. However, I hate the "God will open doors for you if it's his will" crap. No, that isn't what the Bible teaches. If you want a door to open, then you walk up to it and you open it. That's it. Pray for people, thank God when good things happens, but don't look for magical signs that something is God's will or not. You have free will for a reason. Use it.

Theological nincompoops make me crazy and I don't even blame them totally for it. I blame preachers with no education or understanding of the Bible.

Words that I hate

I hate certain words.  Words have meaning, and yes when used correctly, I don't really hate these words, but I hate them in their common parlance.  I hate the words, bigot, homophobe, sexist, racist, and there are probably a few others that aren't coming to mind at this minute.  For example, the folks at dictionary.com define a phobia as, "a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it."


So using that definition, let's define homophobia.  Homophobia is a persistent, irrational fear of homosexuality that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.  I can accept this definition and so I don't hate this word.  Now, in real life if I were to debate someone on the issue of homosexuality and I took the opposing viewpoint, I could be called "homophobic".  Do I have an persistent, irrational fear of it?  No, I do not.  I simply have an intellectual disagreement about it and I am debating from my point of view.


To reiterate, words have meaning.  You can't change that meaning to make the word into a weapon for your point of view.  If you want a good weapon that will strike down what I have to say, craft a well defended argument for your point.  Don't try to jab me with your insulting ignorance of the English language.